It's easy to lose sight of our personal identities while we learn to be parents. Babies add a whole new dynamic to our lives and I think it's pretty natural to throw yourself into your new role wholeheartedly. When we had Roo, our lives shifted so we could focus on her. We mostly did baby-centric things, eating out at kid-friendly restaurants, doing activities that would include her. We stopped having our own hobbies. Probably me more than Bob. I embraced my mommydom, even as I started feeling kind of trapped by it.
By the time Jasper was born, we realized that it was important to try and carve out some couple time to do things together sans kids but I still didn't really feel comfortable wanting to get out by myself. I still feel like it's an imposition, that I have to ask for permission to go out with a friend and be on a timetable. In a way, it's like being in high school again.
What's super weird about it is that these restrictions are totally in my own head. Bob doesn't stop me from going out on occasion, I do. I've been making a real effort to do things that interest me without having to justify it to myself. To that end, I've been taking bellydancing once a week and working out almost every day. I'm making sure I read things that aren't directly child or blog-related. I'm trying to mellow out and find me again.
How do you retain your sense of self in motherhood?
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Share your Live a Little suggestions with the Skimbaco every Monday by adding the link to your Live a Little blog post in the InLinkz widget below. Rules: Link either to Skimbacolifestyle.com OR grab the InLinkz code for your blog post – or do both! If you post the widget in your blog post, please add the rules as well.
I really didn't have a sense of self while the kids were at home, I admit it. I found me after they went to college and only because I was forced to. Even now, I'd happily start that all over and give up my me time again.
ReplyDeleteI am super happy that you have kept up with your working out!! ANd a belly dancing class sounds awesome. My hubby is actually not supportive and never likes it when I do anything so you are lucky to have a supportive hubby. :)
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