Okay, tell me if I'm over-reacting.
Last night, I picked Roo and Jasper up from my mom's house. On the way home, Roo said "You know what Grandma told me? A little girl answered the door and Santa shot her in the face!" She then proceeded to make up a song about the Christmas Eve incident in Covina. Bob and I were horrified.
When I got home, I called my parents to tell them that this was not appropriate. My mom said it was on the TV news and she had to explain it to Roo. I said, no, she didn't. That would be a mighty fine time to make up something innocuous and change the channel, in my opinion. Yes, I was pretty hysterical and crying because I just don't understand how you could NOT know that a four year old doesn't need to know there are people in this world who shoot little kids. Or that they would dress like Santa to go undetected. Way to tell that to a kid who only had her first non-terrified Santa visit this year…
Today, my mom came over and tried to get me to apologize for accusing her of not loving her grandkids. Not true. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves Roo and Jasper, I just have a nagging fear that she doesn't think about her actions and how they impact the kids. She even tried to argue about why I didn't let Roo spend the night the other night when I realized she hadn't been put to bed at 10 pm. It's not like we never see my parents, they live a block away and my mom is always here. Why does she need to spend "quality time" with Roo two and a half hours past her bedtime? Doesn't she realize that we're the ones who have to deal with the fall-out the next day? I didn't apologize and she left angry.
So, did I over-react? What would you have done?
Thanks for everyone's comments, from those of you who were totally outraged by my mom's behavior to those of you who thought I flew off the handle. I think it's interesting that those who want me to sit down with my mom and work it out choose to comment anonymously, though. What's up with that?
I want to clarify that I waited to express my anger about this until after I was well out of range of the kids hearing me and that I didn't make a big deal out of it in front of them. I let Roo sing her "funny song" about Santa shooting little girls in the face and told her I didn't like it and that was that. Thankfully, it blew over and she hasn't mentioned it again. I haven't continued to bitch at my mom about it. I said my peace and let her know I was disappointed in her judgment.
She did the exact same thing two years ago, telling Roo and her five year old cousin about the Madeleine McCann kidnapping in detail, so there definitely is a precedent for her blurting inappropriate stuff out in front of kids. I'm leaving a comment below about her reasoning and mine, if you care to read more.
There is no rift in our family or anything like that, although I appreciate all of your concern!