superdumb supervillain: Sliquid: Slippery When Wet

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sliquid: Slippery When Wet

The following review is for adult eyes only because it involves sex. Mommy and daddy sex. (Everyone under 18 just clicked away, right?) No super explicit stuff here but the links might contain NSFW content. Consider yourself warned.

A while back, I told you about the Jolly Rancher-like Sliquid Swirl Green Apple, a water-based insupporttimate lubricant. I recently received some new Sliquid Lube varietals to tell you about. Like their forebears, they are glycerin-free, sugar-free, paraben-free, gluten-free, and vegan.

First up, Sliquid Swirl Strawberry Pomegranate. I would like to regale you with stories of the antioxidant benefits of the superfruit pomegranate in lubricants but you would probably realize I was yanking your chain. As a matter of fact, I get way more strawberry from this than pomegranate, but in a way that is redolent of coming of age in the late '70s/early '80s. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the heady strawberry scent reminds me of roller disco, tube tops, feathered hair and Famolares. Like the good-bad teenage girls from Little Darlings or Foxes, who have lips that are vinyl-shiny from meticulous application of fruity lip gloss from a glass rollerball tube. That's what Sliquid Swirl Strawberry Pomegranate evokes for me. And it's pretty hot.

I also received a bottle of Sliquid Oceanics. It has a thicker consistency due to its mix of sea vegetation including carrageenan, nori and wakame, but it's just as smooth and slippery. (Carrageenan, a vegan alternative to gelatin derived from seaweed, has been shown in some lab tests to help prevent the spread of HPV, one of the most common STIs. I hope you know your partner's dirty laundry down there and aren't relying on that, though!) Sliquid Oceanics is formulated with with certified botanical extracts like aloe, green tea, sunflower seed, hibiscus, flax, and alfalfa to relax and soothe. Very nice, indeed.

In accordance to the FTC Guidelines and WOMMA Code of Ethics, I am disclosing that I received samples of the aforementioned intimate lubricants to facilitate this review. If you click on any of the links and end up buying anything, I could earn a few bits. Just so you know.

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